If anyone else is like me you magically assumed that once you finally hit the bare minimum 'safe' target BMI range you would maintain a body weight within 0.1 of the boundaries and still remain forever controlled and slim. Wrong.
You can't decide what your BMI is. Your body does that for you. The term set point is branded around a lot but it's true, we all have our individual set point at which our body will happily function at its optimum level.
In terms of body image, when you gain weight it really does hit you hard. I don't think it matters how long you have suffered, to what extent or the nature of your eating disorder - being told to gain weight is absolutely awful and a downright frightening prospect. Imagine how a healthy person would feel if they were told they needed to put weight on?! They'd be insulted and confused. To an individual with an overvaluation of weight, shape and control that issue is magnified tenfold.
Although physically you don't, mentally I felt every pound go on. It was hard. I cried, a lot. I also felt liberated at times, but you have to work at it. I had and still continue to have a few episodes where I cut up those stupidly small jeans, but then the next day it can be complete body image meltdown. The best way I can describe I feel about my body in the bad times is that I've been away from home and I'm renting somewhere short term, but I don't really feel quite right about it and I'd like to go back to where I think home is. But the fact of the matter is 'home' will kill you.
If body image is getting you down it's worth remembering that most people have an area of their body which they fixate on, and dislike and would change - but the average person without a history of ED also wouldn't use disordered behaviours to attain 'perfection'.
The values that influence our self worth should never be derived from the opinion we have on our physical appearance. If your boobs are smaller than someone else's does that mean your not as intelligent, funny or as kind as them? Of course it doesn't. Think about what traits you actually value in a person, not what you physically think is 'desireable'. Unfollow the stupid social media account of the girl posting workout videos and then drinking frothed egg white - unless you want the shits and fancy putting recovery at risk these are not the sort of role models or social influences you need right now. You will sit there, compare yourself to them and convince yourself your body is inherently flawed because you don't look like them.
The bottom line is we have a choice - to let anorexia rule your thoughts and hate your body, or to accept what your body is and celebrate what it can do for you when you give it a bit of love.
You can't decide what your BMI is. Your body does that for you. The term set point is branded around a lot but it's true, we all have our individual set point at which our body will happily function at its optimum level.
In terms of body image, when you gain weight it really does hit you hard. I don't think it matters how long you have suffered, to what extent or the nature of your eating disorder - being told to gain weight is absolutely awful and a downright frightening prospect. Imagine how a healthy person would feel if they were told they needed to put weight on?! They'd be insulted and confused. To an individual with an overvaluation of weight, shape and control that issue is magnified tenfold.
Although physically you don't, mentally I felt every pound go on. It was hard. I cried, a lot. I also felt liberated at times, but you have to work at it. I had and still continue to have a few episodes where I cut up those stupidly small jeans, but then the next day it can be complete body image meltdown. The best way I can describe I feel about my body in the bad times is that I've been away from home and I'm renting somewhere short term, but I don't really feel quite right about it and I'd like to go back to where I think home is. But the fact of the matter is 'home' will kill you.
If body image is getting you down it's worth remembering that most people have an area of their body which they fixate on, and dislike and would change - but the average person without a history of ED also wouldn't use disordered behaviours to attain 'perfection'.
The values that influence our self worth should never be derived from the opinion we have on our physical appearance. If your boobs are smaller than someone else's does that mean your not as intelligent, funny or as kind as them? Of course it doesn't. Think about what traits you actually value in a person, not what you physically think is 'desireable'. Unfollow the stupid social media account of the girl posting workout videos and then drinking frothed egg white - unless you want the shits and fancy putting recovery at risk these are not the sort of role models or social influences you need right now. You will sit there, compare yourself to them and convince yourself your body is inherently flawed because you don't look like them.
The bottom line is we have a choice - to let anorexia rule your thoughts and hate your body, or to accept what your body is and celebrate what it can do for you when you give it a bit of love.
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