Skip to main content

CLEARS THROAT.

So, introductions required as I have moved onto the world of blogger.

For those who don't know know me, my name is Kate. I'm recovering from anorexia, and have suffered with my eating disorder for approximately 12 years. Cue the violins I bet you're thinking - well, there's absolutely no string instruments required actually. I kept this illness my secret for a long time, (oh isn't she thin! Isn't she HEALTHY! aren't you tiny.. *I became very good at shaking comments off nonchalantly*) and managed to wriggle my way out of telling my closest friends about the three emergency (there were multiple additional non emergency) admissions to hospital where my heart had been affected due to my body not coping due to anorexia. Not to mention the excuses for missing birthdays, fainting, being forever freezing, the 'allergies' so I couldn't eat certain things at work/in public etc

 The lies, the concealing, the lot of it had to stop; it was either that or I was going to stop existing, be that through the sheer depression that was waving over me with constant suicidal thoughts or anorexia was going to kill me, and at the rate I began to deteriorate it wasn't going to be a long time for the worst to happen.

Now I finally know and accept that I didn't choose to have this debilitating, life threatening disorder - it just happened to me. Shit happens. Sadly I am genetically predisposed to having an eating disorder. I don't have a diet that went wrong.  But now I can talk about my shit - and if I'm talking about my shit helps other people going through their shit, then maybe there will be a little bit less shit floating about. And no one likes floating shit now do they.

Ultimately I'm not going to be a 'recovered anorexic' once treatment is over. I'm going to share my journey with you of the process that will be finding the real me and recovering. Because IT IS POSSIBLE. You just have to choose to fight and to recover everyday day until it becomes second nature. 

I also want to share helpful advice and my experiences of what it's like emotionally and physically to recover from an eating disorder.

The first thing I need you guys to know is that seeking help for recovery is the best thing you will ever do. I NEVER believed I would break the cycles fuelling my ED (mainly restriction but also over exercising), but with patience, support, slip ups and absolute perseverance I am on my way to regaining real control of my life, not the false sense of control that an eating disorder provides you with, until you end up 6 feet under and cold.

Lots of strength to anyone who's read this.

Kate x


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Weight restoration issues.

If anyone else is like me you magically assumed that once you finally hit the bare minimum 'safe' target BMI range you would maintain a body weight within 0.1 of the boundaries and still remain forever controlled and slim. Wrong. You can't decide what your BMI is. Your body does that for you. The term set point is branded around a lot but it's true, we all have our individual set point at which our body will happily function at its optimum level. In terms of body image, when you gain weight it really does hit you hard. I don't think it matters how long you have suffered, to what extent or the nature of your eating disorder - being told to gain weight is absolutely awful and a downright frightening prospect. Imagine how a healthy person would feel if they were told they needed to put weight on?! They'd be insulted and confused. To an individual with an overvaluation of weight, shape and control that issue is magnified tenfold. Although physically you don...
Post a Comment
Read more

'I'm not sick enough'

As you can tell from the title, I wanted to share my thoughts with you about people's misconception about the severity of their condition/denial/feeling inadequately ill.  I want to write about this as I didn't feel I deserved treatment, and that was a massive factor in initial slow progress in recovery for me.  It's important to be mindful that eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes, and just like people, no two eating disorder sufferers will go down the same path, some people naturally weight restore quicker than others etc as we all have different body compositions and we are all individual mentally aswell as physically!  You might be at a healthy weight, but if you suffer and engage in purging behaviours your electrolytes could be imbalanced to the point of serious heart complications. But to the unsuspecting passer by, you might well look 'healthy'. Doesn't that just show how dangerous eating disorders are in themselves due to the fact that they...
Post a Comment
Read more